Sunday, July 12, 2015

Trumped Up Charges

Okay, I’m not the most upstanding guy in the community. Yeah, I’ve had a brush or three with the police, but nothing serious. I am an honest businessman who happens to have an uncle in the mob so the fuzz has it out for me.

They’ve been try’in to shut me down for years. They’re jealous I made a success of myself. Now they claim I didn’t report business accounts to the government. There is no such law! They made it up. Where does it say I must report my business contacts and online accounts to the government? Really? They made it up so it’s time for me to get tough; time to mess with their low single digit IQs.

I mentioned I have an uncle, right? Oh yeah, I did. Well, my uncle helps mobsters screw with the law. He actually does a great job in helping people in my position hide in plain sight from the coppers.

 My uncle Marty, what a guy. He solved my problem. I walked into his backroom clinic as Dwayne and left as Rachel. The judge issued a warrant for my arrest when I failed to show in court. Good luck finding me, pigs. Some dame named Rachel took over my business until Dwayne is caught and brought to justice. As Rachel, the coppers leave me alone. I guess they are pussies when it comes to women. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, so they stay away. Works for me.

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