Friday, July 24, 2015

A Friendly Note From the Government

A letter from the IRS ruins a good day, even for honest people. For people like Maynard, it is a life-changing disaster. Maynard ran a roofing company for fifteen years and found a way to hide a significant amount of money from the government. Under a microscope there is a risk Maynard’s untaxed earnings will be discovered.

The first meeting with Noel, the auditor, went better than Maynard had hoped. It sounded like a typical audit, checking to see if there are receipts documenting deductions. Noel, a petite blond with a perky chest, distracted Maynard from the real reason she was there. Maynard turned over receipts and joked with the auditor. Bank statements and invoices were reviewed. When the audit was complete, Noel smiled at Maynard and said, “Where is the rest of the money. You are missing income from roofing jobs not listed here.” Maynard then realized they had his business under surveillance for a period of time.

Noel pointed out jobs where Maynard’s company did work, but no work order was present and roofing materials and expenses did not match any job site. Maynard had no answer. Noel did. She pulled out a thick stack of papers held together by a metal clasp and handed it to Maynard. “These are the jobs you didn’t list on your taxes. If you can’t prove the income you will owe $38 million in back taxes, interest and penalties.”

Maynard nearly fainted when Noel said this. “If you don’t have the money,” Noel continued, “we have a program to help.” “Really?” Maynard squeaked. “Of course,” Noel smiled. “We sell your business—that should cover half the balance due; then we give you a high paying job. You get enough to covered basic living needs and we keep the rest to satisfy your debt.”

With nowhere to go Maynard agreed to the settlement. His business was sold and he was given a job… as a street walker. Maynard was given an appointment at the local IRS office where he was taken to a back room with a transformation chamber. Now Tina, Maynard’s replacement, worked second shift at the corner of 3rd and Main. On a good night she could pay down six, seven thousand dollars. Tina felt lucky, however. She should have her debt paid in seven to eight years and she will have massive amounts of job training. 


  1. I don't know, Kay. Sounds fishy to me! I'm thinking that Noel is using her position to fill a brothel which will fill her own accounts with unreported gains!


  2. What a great cap kay.
    Suspicious though what Noel is doing.