Sunday, August 9, 2015

Use It or Lose It

It was not supposed to be like this. Jack entered marriage with high hopes and deep love for his wife, Amanda. They dated throughout college and married right after graduation. Jack has a high-stress job in finance that killed his libido. He wanted to do the thing; he still loved Amanda. But for whatever reason, the stress killed Jack’s ability to perform and medications did not help.

The stress seemed manageable to Jack. He felt good, his blood pressure and cholesterol were all normal, he held and kissed Amanda every day, but for whatever reason, their marriage ended up a sexless one. Amanda started researching the issue. She discovered about 1 in 4 marriages are sexless. She also discovered that men have a higher risk of prostate cancer if they don’t do it every so often. Jack listened to Amanda’s research and tried. He just could not do it. There were tears for both.

The tears came harder when the risk turned into reality. Tiredness led to a doctor’s appointment which led to the prostate cancer diagnosis. It was a virulent strain. Jack had less than six months to live.

The cancer had not yet spread. The doctor provide the only solution for Jack to live: remove the cancerous appendage. Jack had no choice; Amanda agreed; she can live with Jack without his male parts, but to lose him completely… She could not bring herself to do it.

The doctor had another solution. Rather than just remove the appendage, Jack should go for a full gender reassignment. Because it was a medical emergency his reassignment was covered by insurance.

Time was important. Three days later Jack was in surgery. The doctor got all the cancer. His employer had a generous severance package. Now Jack, well, actually Melina, has money and time. The stress is gone and the libido returned. Amanda adjusted quickly while Melina thought women were luckier now that he experienced both sides. It does go to prove one point: If you don’t use it, you lose it.

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