Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Who is the Best Girl?

Jeb, Scott and Donald started talking smack about each other in public. Tempers flared as the insults went from mild attacks to violent verbal assaults. It got so bad you would think they were politicians running for office.

The name calling led to challenges. “Put your money where your mouth is,” went a common refrain. And so it was. The three friends destroyed all they valued with mere words. Their names and reputations were in ruins over petty bickering and one-upmanship.

The insults turned personal. The racist and misogynistic attitudes of the men rose to the surface like a vile film of scum on a stagnant pond in late summer. Then Donald called Scott a girl. It was an unwarranted insult even if there was some truth to the accusation. Scott fired back and Jeb joined in. Before long the men started betting each other who would make a better girl, the best girl, an awesome girl.

Finally, Donald dared his friends to put up or shut up. Donald was the richest and had the money to find out once and for all who would make the best girl. A quick trip to TG Incorporated solved the problem. The boys jumped into the nanobot laced hot tub with enthusiasm. A few hours later the boys presenting themselves to the TG Incorporated staff and asked the one question on their mind: Who is the best girl?

The staff just stared. Eventually the boys were told they needed new identities. Now they are Hilary, Carly and Scott. Yes, Scott is such a dumbass he kept his old name. The boys still demanded to know who the best girl was. The TG Incorporated staff could not decide. It was decided to put the boys up on the internet and ask who the people thought is the best girl. The voting is open. Cast your ballot today.

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