Saturday, September 12, 2015

Don't Play if You Can't Afford to Lose

Carl enjoyed Saturday night cards at the club. His buddies gathered each weekend for a great night of poker. The game was competitive and the losses could add up if a guy did not watch his playing. Poker is a subtle game of cues. Money can shake a guy’s stoic façade when they are all in. Tonight the stakes will be higher than ever before.

Carl came prepared for tonight’s game with an ample bankroll when he was informed tonight’s game will have the highest stakes ever. Tonight, the loser drinks a shot glass of nanobots; tonight, the loser walks out a woman.

The game started good for Carl. The cards were working in his favor and the other guys were playing it close to the chest. A close hand led to Carl’s first bad beat of the night. Carl read his opponent wrong. The loss shook his confidence and with so much on the line his façade fell — death to a poker player.

Carl started grinding away. Soon he recaptured most of his loss from the bad beat before another turn of the cards crushed his stack of chips and his hopes of remaining a man after the evening is over. Then a second bad beat in a row. Carl never recovered his confidence after that. The other guys desperate to remain men saw blood and took their good friend to the cleaners.

The last hand for Carl offered little hope. He made a desperate “all in” call. The cards turned, offering no hope. Out of chips and out of chances, Carl tilted his head back and swallowed the shot glass of nanobots to the chant of “chug” from his friends.

Nanobots work fast. Every cell in his body transformed into a female cell complete with two X chromosomes. Carl changed into something more appropriate for his gender and took a selfie for the record. Carl’s wife was pissed when she found out (how much money he lost), but loved the name he picked: Candy. Candy’s wife adjusted and actually enjoyed the new Carl. He is the nicest guy, ah, woman ever. And he stays home Saturday nights now.

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