What to Buy the Man Who Has Everything

Dear Diary,

Dad has been sad since mom died. Us girls have done everything we can think of to shake dad out of it to no avail. Now Christmas is approaching and we have to find a way to put a smile on his face. We always thought a date would cheer dad up except he has no interest in women; he wants mom back. I saw an ad on the internet from TG Inc. that caught my eye. I’ll explain Christmas morning rather than just tell you what it is.

Dad got up late this morning. Christmas hurt more than any other day since mom’s passing. My sisters and I handed dad his gift, all giddy. Dad pasted a pale fake smile on his face to acknowledge our concern. He put his coffee down and opened the package. It was some of mom’s clothes!

“We know you wear mom’s clothes a lot since she died and we want you to be close to her again.” Dad looked confused. Under the clothes on the bottom of the box was a small bottle of liquid. “Drink it, dad. Touch your forehead with it first. It reads your mind and gives you the girl of your dreams. Then you drink it.”

Dad did. As soon as he finished the beverage his body started to convulse until he was completely transformed. Dad ran to the mirror. He muttered, “Miranda” as he touched his face. He looked exactly like mom. The nanobots did the job we paid them to do.

Dad enjoyed the rest of the day outside dressed in mom’s clothes and looking good. He couldn’t stop touching his breasts. It was the best Christmas ever!