Guilty Pleasures

The judge wasn’t taking Rodney’s bullshit anymore. Rodney spent more time in court and in jail than free. The judge had it. He was going to end the crap once and for all.

The judge read the list of offenses Rodney committed over the years. All were minor, but never ending: indecent exposure, urinating in public, jay walking, and shoplifting (You needed a candy bar that bad?” the judge exhorted).

“Nothing seems to work with you,” the judge continued. “Jail doesn’t seem to work. I think you actually like it there.” Rodney smiled at the comment which really pissed off the judge. “I’m sick of dealing with you. I have a solution to end these games you play once and for all.”

What was Rodney’s offense this time? Minor BS again. He was required to report his personal online presence to the Department of Corrections. He started a business and claimed the accounts were business, not personal. He was right, but when has the government cared about right or following the law. They pick and choose which laws they will follow and whom they apply to. This fake law applied to Rodney, it seems.

Rodney could cop any attitude he wanted, it would not help. “I am inclined to sentence you to seven years hard labor on the prison farm, but I get the feeling you might enjoy that.” Rodney shrugged. Rodney would rather sit around all day passing time, but whatever. “Instead I think I can end your attitude with a novel sentence.” Now the judge smiled. “I order you to report to the local TG Incorporated office for gender reassignment. As a woman you will find how offensive lewd behavior is when directed toward you. If you keep your nose clean for seven years you can petition the court to have your old body back. Do you understand your sentence?”

Rodney was white as a ghost. Losing his family jewels over this? No effing way! Of course it was effing way. The police dragged him to the TG Incorporated office to carry out the sentence. Rodney was replaced by Luellen that day. To his surprise he loved life as Luellen. The judge can go eff himself. As a woman he can get away with murder. He couldn’t help thinking of all the fun things he could now do.